Fuck you for lying & fucking that other girl. I get it though. She’s prettier and skinnier.
excuse me sir but I am trying to fuck you without any strings so WHAT EXACTLY IS THE PROBLEM
WHEN YOU TEXT THE GUY YOU LIKE BUT HE NEVER RESPONDS AND YOU’RE JUST SITTING AROUND HOPING HE RESPONDS BUT INSTEAD YOU GET A BOOTY TEXT FROM YOUR DRUG ADDICT LUNATIC SEMI ABUSIVE CRAZY NON EX/EX BF AND THAT’S JUST FUCKING GREAT NO I AM NOT FUCKING TEXTING YOU BACK OR SUCKING YOUR DICK FUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I am the “fuck up” friend & I think I’m starting to be okay with that…
When you don’t mean to hurt a friend’s feelings by being honest when they ask & you think everything is fine but then you find out that you’ve potentially ruined your entire friendship….
Guy: “You’re super beautiful but…”
Translation: “You’re hideous & I would never EVER be within ten feet of you but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Don’t even like the dude, just always reminded of my place as a completely undesirable leper. Word.
I literally can’t think about anything other than how horrible of a human being I am. I wish I didn’t have class tomorrow so I didn’t have to see the people that I’m supposed to be friends with because we’re not really friends. It’s not their fault; it’s mine. I don’t treat them like friends– fuck it, I don’t treat them like any decent human being would treat anyone. I’m so fucking hurtful with everything I say & fuck I don’t mean to be but someone I ruin everything.
Okay– no more posts tonight. I’m sorry.
I’m not sure how much more horrible I could be if I tried. I’m the worst friend anyone could ever have. I care about my friends very deeply but then I treat them like shit. What the fuck is wrong with me?! I think maybe I should just take a break from talking to anyone, talking to anyone about anything. Then maybe I could be a decent human being for once in my fucking life & not be a giant fucking bitch. Maybe I would actually appreciate the great friends I have & not be a total fucking tool. Like what in the fuck is my problem? I think I’m all dependable & loyal but I’m really not. I can’t be counted on when it matters & I can’t really help people out when they need it. When my friends are upset or something I can’t even be there for them. I can’t be open & honest because the idea of doing that makes me want to vomit. The idea of getting close to people is really hard for me, even friends, & the idea of letting people in is terrifying. Fuck I am such a dick. I can’t be someone’s friend if I can’t even trust them. What the fuck do I even think I’m doing? That’s literally the most selfish thing in the world: to expect people to be there for me but not be there for them or to not support them when they need it but expect them to support me when I need it. I’m such a fucking bitch. I treat my friends like dirt. I shouldn’t even have fucking friends. I shouldn’t do anything with my life because I always end up doing the wrong thing & hurting people by not thinking my actions through & that’s really fucked up.
Then I’m super fucking dumb because I write a god damn stream of consciousness about how horrible I am which is basically just a fucking pity party for me, which is also selfish & makes me even more of a bitch. Word. I literally suck at everything.